At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
