Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
