The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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