No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
