i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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