seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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