You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
