dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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