the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
