I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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