We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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