there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
