just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All I want is dick and wine.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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