There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
