I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i think i just lost a toe
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
