Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize