They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want you more than these girls want KFC
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize