But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
