Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
