I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
