Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
