Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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