Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize