walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
