I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
