They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
