lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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