her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
