when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
