May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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