I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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