they need to just BURY HIM!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
