community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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