I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
