I'm eating all of the evidence.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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