I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
