So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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