There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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