Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
