If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
