i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
