Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
