Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
