i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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