marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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