The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
