i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
