How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
