I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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