i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
