Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
the raccoons are back...
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