walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
