Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize