words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize