is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
