We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize