It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
