I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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